dear ej,
I'm wearing lingerie, the smell of my perfume fills the room and I have a bottle of sparkling wine chilling. It's late at night. Too late to be planning on just talking; and I'm still not sure if I'm really gonna do this. I don't want to lead him on, but there are some unsettled issues rolling through my head.
Is tonight the night that I let him inside? I'm driving myself crazy wondering what's going to happen. Will we chill for a while? Or is he going to go straight for it?
He has a way of making me feel sexy and I like that. He knows what to say. He knows how to hold me, caress me, touch me. He has always been nice, so far.
But does he realy like and respect me? Or has this just been part of some plan to get the "drawls?" And if he does hit it, will he broadcast it to all his boys? Will he drop all the intimate details? Will he talk about how good the "head" was? Should I give him "head" at all?
Will he take his time? Will he search for the right buttons to hit and try to turn me on? Does he want to make love to me or fuck me? Will he bring protection or leave it up to me to have it? Is he going to "bust" in the condom or try to take it off and cum on me? On my ass? On my tits? In my mouth? On my face?
Is he going to try to make me cum or is he just thinking about himself?
Will he leave right afterward or stick around at least for a little while? And if he does leave will he call when he gets home? Or at least sometime tomorrow?
Maybe this is happening to fast. Maybe I should call him and tell him not to come over. Maybe I should make him take me to get something to eat first. Maybe I...
Oh shit... there's the doorbell...
-- sharon g.
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